[A bit lengthy and not all of this content relates to everyone - please fee free to skip over the sections that don't interest you.
Family/Friends - Hopefully you can learn or have already learned something new from my exchange year in Germany. It's my goal that through my year abroad motivates at least one person looks into the possibilities of foreign exchange (whether it's studying abroad, hosting, volunteering, etc.)
Students - If studying abroad is something that you're interested in, read the section below about opportunities and scholarships!
Teachers/Parents - If you know of any students that may be interested in the possibilities of studying abroad, please feel free to link them to this blog, tell them about my story, etc. You can also refer a student for the CBYX merit-based scholarship at https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1givfdvtSPD-ruDfDI1ydDFgOwLNiwC4trxy0UBup_Jc/viewform
Everyone - Thank you for reading my blog! I hope that my exchange year has made an impact on international relations and helps you think about improving the world that we live in.]
It's only been a little bit over a month since my exchange year officially came to an end, but it feels like a lifetime ago. (In a way, it really was a lifetime ago though.)
Was I ready to leave Germany? Nope.
I wasn't particularly looking forward to coming back to Michigan, where things are generally the same and little excitement happens. In Germany life was always go-go-go and I was learning something each day. Even little things like withdrawing money from the bank ATM is a completely different, thrilling experience when you have to do it in a different way and in a foreign language. The littlest things were a complete pain in the butt and would make you so irritated/drive you insane when you couldn't figure it out. Once you figured it out though, the satisfaction made up for everything. I suppose that I figured I would miss the excitement of having little Aha! moments and never knowing what to expect. Now that I'm back, I do miss the small thrills that each day brought. Although that being said, there are good things about being home too (I'll cover that later). It's great to be able to see everybody back home face-to-face as well though.
The hardest thing about it all is that I don't know when I'll be able to go back to my second home in Germany and see everyone there again. There are so many uncertainties. In a way it was so much easier to go to Germany, because stepping on that plane I knew that I would eventually return to the USA and see everyone again.
I can't imagine how different I would be if I hadn't done my exchange year. Some people are afraid to take an exchange year because they think they will be losing time - time they could be using to learn in school - travelling should be saved for later in life. It's true that school teaches you a lot of incredibly important things, but in my case I grew at least 10x the amount that I believe I would have had I stayed here in the USA. Obviously doing an exchange in high school isn't for everybody, but it's definitely an option that I would highly recommend looking into if you think that you're ready for a challenge.
I'm so much more independent now than I was before and comfortable problem solving and figuring things out on my own if I have to. I'm not as shy or afraid to talk to strangers, and more confident in myself than I ever was before - after all everything becomes 1,000x simpler when you come back home and can do something in your mother language. Personality-wise I think I've changed a bit. I still like to have fun when I'm with friends, but I do think I'm a lot more serious than before I left on my exchange. I'm more understanding of differences, especially when relating to being more understanding of other cultures.
I've dropped the words "weird" and "strange" from my vocabulary and replaced them with the word "different". People do different things and have other definitions of what's "normal". It's all a matter of perspective, and there aren't necessarily right or wrong ways to doing things. Sometimes people can get so caught up with what they've been taught, that they don't realize that there are different ways of doing things. Not everybody is the same, and that's okay! It's good to be different.
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Commonly asked questions about my year:
> What do you miss the most from Germany?
A lot of things ~ I'll list some of them.
- Recycling. It's everywhere! You don't have one trash bag at home, but instead you have three large ones for recycling and one small one for disposables (large ones for plastic, paper, organic, and then an itty-bitty one for trash)
- The food. Scnitzel, Spaetzle, Doener, ice cream from an italian ice cafe that is shaped to look like spaghetti or lasagne
- Public transportation. So so much. I could hop on a bus or train and take it anywhere within Germany or Europe if I wanted
- Feeling safe in the big cities at night. I'll admit that it's easier being a male, but nobody really wants to be caught walking through some of the bigger cities like Chicago, New York, Detroit, etc. All of the large cities in Germany felt extremely safe at night and it wasn't intimidating like it is here.
http://www.nationmaster.com/country-info/stats/Crime/Fear-of-crime/Feels-safe-walking-alone/At-night
- Gun laws. This is a tricky subject and people are very opinionated and protective at times about their Second Amendment right to own guns. When you look at how the USA is ranked first for gun related crime rate though... Violent crime/murder rates are 20 times higher in the USA than in Germany. That says something. (Source = Nation Master)
> What could you absolutely not stand about Germany?
Driers aren't used; it's all hang dried. I like my socks/shirts to feel fluffy from the drier instead of feeling crispy after drying in front of the fireplace in the winter!
On a more serious note - I don't think I could mentally handle living in Germany because of the way that Germans function socially. I don't have anything against Germans and their social norms, but it's hard to adjust to when you grow up in a culture where it's normal to say hello and start a conversation with strangers and people they don't know very well. In Michigan I live in a neighborhood where my family is constantly talking to the neighbors and doing things together. During my year in Germany, I never once communicated with any of the neighbors. All of the families simply minded their own business, as that typically seemed to be the mindset of most Germans. It was extremely tough for me to try and make friends at the beginning of my year. You have to persistently try to join a friend group, and even then it usually takes years before you'll become good enough friends to the point that you'll hang out regularly.
On a more serious note - I don't think I could mentally handle living in Germany because of the way that Germans function socially. I don't have anything against Germans and their social norms, but it's hard to adjust to when you grow up in a culture where it's normal to say hello and start a conversation with strangers and people they don't know very well. In Michigan I live in a neighborhood where my family is constantly talking to the neighbors and doing things together. During my year in Germany, I never once communicated with any of the neighbors. All of the families simply minded their own business, as that typically seemed to be the mindset of most Germans. It was extremely tough for me to try and make friends at the beginning of my year. You have to persistently try to join a friend group, and even then it usually takes years before you'll become good enough friends to the point that you'll hang out regularly.
Here in the USA I always have people to hang out with or talk to. In Germany I often felt isolated and had to do things alone, and it wasn't until about halfway through my year that I really started connecting with friends and had a good group of friends. Even then, we still wouldn't really hang out or talk regularly outside of school and I was left to do many things on my own.
> Regrets from your year?
My major one is probably that I mainly spoke English with people for the first few months. It was easy to find someone who could speak basic English if they were fairly young, so I didn't really start learning the language until I started speaking more German around Christmas time.
I also wish that I would have relied more on my area representative and my host family instead of just bottling up my emotions and problems that I had. I was always worried that I might cause a problem or inconvenience if I told them exactly how I felt and what I wanted, when really it would have been much better and easier had I just directly told them what was on my mind. It felt easier to vent by complaining to my family back home when I had a problem, but it really only made things worse because there was nothing they could do about the situation. Looking back at it now, I wish I had talked to my host family when I had a problem or was unhappy about something.
> What do Germans think about the USA?
...A lot of different things, and there are a lot of bad stereotypes out there because of the reality television, news, and social media that reaches Europe. I ended up telling some people at the end of my exchange year that I was Canadian (technically not a lie...) because people would automatically assume certain things about my character if I said that I was American.
An example of one of the conflicts I had during my year was due to the NSA scandal. Remember a couple of years when it was leaked that we had been spying on people including the German chancellor, Angela Merkel? Yeah, the Germans still remember too. The effects are still there. I was invited to a party at the beginning of the year, but my German friend wouldn't message me her address because she thought that the US Government would spy on her as a result. Oops.
They all love Obama though. I never encountered a German (or anybody that is European for that matter) that disliked President Obama.
Let's go over a few of the questions I was asked:
- If you're American, why aren't you obese?
- How many guns do you own?
- On average, how many times a week do you eat lunch at McDonald's? 5?
- Why are Americans so loud/rude/arrogant/(...)?
- Is it true that people in Texas have those automatic wheelchair things in Walmart so that they don't have to walk through the store?
- *Insert any other question about Texas here*
- Omg you can't drink until you're 21 years old?!?!
- Omg you can shop on Sunday?
- Omg you can shop at 2 am?
- Omg you can shop at 2 am on Sunday?
> What surprised you the most during your exchange year?
Who I stayed in contact the most with during my year. There was definitely variety (neighbors, friends, family, ... ) but many of the people from back home who would message me occasionally during my exchange year were people that I hadn't expected, and as for friends that I would talk to every day at home, quite a few I only ended up talking to once or twice during my year. It really made me realize how much will change when I leave for university and how easy it can be to accidentally lose contact with people. I'm glad that I had the chance to learn this ahead of time and get a 'second chance' before we end up leaving for college or other opportunities in life. You never know where your lives will cross again, so it's great to remain in contact with people. (Be proactive and don't always wait for somebody else to send the first message!)
> Stereotypes about Germans that you found to be true or not true?
- Bluntness: True. Germans don't tend to beat around the bush like Americans like to do. (Or the Americans that I know, anyways.) They weren't shy to tell me when I was butchering their language, had a bad hair day, or was acting like a typical American. If you need an honest opinion about something, go ask a German.
- Organized/Efficient: Very true. Plans were to be made weeks in advance, and sticky notes and lists were always made. Wasting water is a sin. You quickly turn on the water in the shower to get wet, and shut it off while you shampoo your hair. If you're not in a room, the lights should always be shut off to conserve energy. Germans even load their dishwashers differently to be more efficient. I like to be spontaneous at times which didn't always work with my friends, but it was definitely nice to be surrounded by (for the most part) very well organized people.
- Punctuality: Not true. I was repetitively told that Germans are always punctual and on time. I don't personally understand why so many people emphasized this to me when really they're just like Americans. Many like to be on time, but the majority are late.
- They all wear Lederhosen and Dirndls: Not true (at all). I only saw a few at Oktoberfest, but that's about it. Maybe they wear it more often in Bavaria, but I still doubt it. My art teacher told me a story about how he went on a vacation to Berlin and saw two men wearing Lederhosen. Turns out they were Americans.
...And then there are the questions that make you question everything about your exchange year.
I both mentally and physically cringe when people use the word 'trip' in this question. My exchange was so much more than a trip! Does anyone describe a year of their life as just a trip? (But to answer your question, it was fantastic!)
> You speak German now, right?
I hope so...! (Wait, can I speak German? Can I even speak English...? It seems like I forgot so much English when I was gone that when I try speaking it anymore I only regurgitate a babble of words.) Seriously speaking though, I've improved a lot in German. People in Germany were surprised when I told them that I hadn't learned any German before arriving in Europe. I could probably count all of the words that I knew in German on my fingers (& toes if you include numbers!). Now I can hold a conversation for a few hours. I think that my vocabulary and pronunciation of the language is pretty decent, but when it comes to grammar I'm completely ravaging the language.
Can you really blame me though?
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So... What's next? I had originally only planned to spend a summer abroad when I first thought about doing an exchange, but I ended up doing a year program instead after looking through all of the available programs and options. I still plan on going past my comfort zone and spending a summer abroad as well, and the earlier the better.
But isn't a summer program only going to be less difficult and intense than a year long program?
It all depends on how much you push yourself. I never truly experienced a bad episode of culture shock in Europe, but maybe that's because I've been raised with a lot of family connections and traditions that are European. That, and there's a lot of scenery in both Germany and Michigan. They're surprisingly very much the same in the way that the areas look.
I want to travel to somewhere I know nothing about, such as Asia or South America, and experience how different life can be in the small planet we call home. I think I pushed my limits on my first exchange, but I want to continue to go even further on my next one so I can learn more about both myself and other cultures.
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Why do an exchange in high school?
- You get to make lifelong friends from countries all over the world! You'll always have a place to stay, no matter what continent you're in. (Good luck with Antarctica though.) In the short time that I've been back, I've sent 37 letters out to new friends living in 12 different countries. You don't have to necessarily become a snail-mailer like me afterwards since it's easy to keep in touch through the internet, but I think it's fun to send letters and gifts back and forth. It keeps the interest going in writing back to the other person.
- The sad reality is that many people plan to travel later in life but never have the opportunity to pursue the dream due to other things getting in the way.
- The opportunity to live with a host family! Homestays really immerse you in the culture as you're spending your daily life with a family. You get to see all of the super neat things that the blind tourist won't normally notice.
- Stand out in college applications (It doesn't hurt either to have a topic in mind for writing essays)
- There are hundreds of partial and full scholarships available through privately funded organizations and government programs such as the one I did my program through (Need-based and/or merit based)
A few government funded merit scholarships:
- Congress Bundestag Youth Exchange (CBYX) [The program that I went through and is a program between the USA and Germany to help promote international relations: Details can be found at http://www.usagermanyscholarship.org/ ]
- National Security Language Initiative for Youth (NSLI-Y) [NSLI-Y programs offer intensive language immersion in a variety of locations around the world. Beginners are welcome to apply for many language based programs including Arabic, Chinese, Hindi, Korean, and more. Information for the scholarship is on the website, http://www.nsliforyouth.org/ ]
- Kennedy-Lugar Youth Exchange and Study Abroad (YES Abroad) [Full scholarships are available through YES Abroad for American high school students to study for one academic year in select countries with significant Muslim populations http://www.yes-abroad.org/ ]
A few reputable exchange organizations:
http://yfuusa.org/ (Youth For Understanding)
http://www.afsusa.org/ (American Field Service)
https://www.rotary.org/en/get-involved/exchange-ideas/youth-exchanges (Rotary)
Or consider hosting an exchange student:
Hosting a student can also be a rewarding experience. Exchange organizations are constantly looking for families from all walks of life to be a host family. The most life changing year (and probably event) in my life wouldn't have been possible without a host family willing to have me stay with them for a year. Even being a welcome family for the first couple of weeks of a student's arrival can make a HUGE difference for them!
In another country, a teenager is waiting, wondering
which family will open up a world of possibilities.
If your family is open to new and enriching experiences –
willing to provide guidance, love and support to a young person
embarking on a journey of self-discovery – hosting a YFU student is for you!
Share our American customs, and your family’s unique traditions
while discovering a new culture right in your own home.
Hosting a YFU exchange student can make the world feel smaller,
while making your own world bigger.
There are perhaps as many reasons to host a YFU student as
there are families and students participating in YFU exchanges each year.
Hosting will better connect your family to the world in which we live.
It brings culture and a sense of adventure to your children while teaching them
valuable lessons about acceptance and global unity.
Host families have many different faces and backgrounds.
It doesn’t matter if you have children or not, whether you’re single,
an empty nester or are a same sex couple; anyone can be a host family.
And you can live anywhere—the suburbs, the city or even a farm.
If your family is willing to open yourselves to new experiences and provide guidance,
love and support to a student looking to further themselves,
you will be a great host family.
Learn more about hosting a student at http://yfuusa.org/
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If anybody has any questions about these programs, other summer ones, foreign exchange in general, etc. please feel free to either leave a comment on here (I'll receive an automatic email notification and we can go from there) or talk to me in person or through social media if that's an option for you. [My Instagram is joeyajarv if that helps!] If I don't know the answer to your question, I'll get you in contact with somebody who does. :)
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The quote that sums up my exchange year: Exchange isn't a year in your life, it's a life in a year.
